a b o u t

tanya, indian, 20. loves strong females (fictional and otherwise), cute boys, storms, and trash food. 5'1", leo, intj.

c u r r e n t l y

reading: mother night by kurt vonnegit. watching: dr. strangelove and everything bollywood.

f a n d o m s

i post about: marvel, dc, parks & rec, tolkien, hp, veep, brooklyn 99, star wars, and other misc.

n o t e

i don't update these tabs often, so this is all probably imcomplete or inaccurate, sorry!

u p d a t e s

just redid my navi, and added links to a lot more of my frequently used tags. if you guys are having a bad day, go to tagged/animals. 100% effective mood-lifter, guaranteed ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀

mindthetarget:

hawknat:

okay but one of the things no one ever talks about that still chills my spine to this day is clint barton intimately knowing every way natasha fears dying.

for someone like natasha romanoff, someone with her upbringing and the number of times she’s faced death, what does ‘fear’ mean? what does ’dying’ mean? how did it come to natasha one day telling clint her deepest darkest fears? what did clint do or say that she would let him know these things? that she would trust him with this information?

she’s the black widow- conditioned for isolation and bloodlust and keeps her greatest vulnerabilities guarded behind her heart because everything is a threat. but CLINT, an assassin who can take her hand-to-hand, the one who was sent to kill her, the one she’s wearing around her neck, is the only person who knows what can kill her, how to kill her!

it’s not her truest fear when the hulk attacked her on the helicarrier and she couldn’t prevent his rage. or when she was helplessly watching fury die on that hospital bed and she knew exactly who the killer was. or watching her entire life’s work, her entire past released to the public, or even dying in battle against forces beyond her control.

no one actually knows what truly makes natasha tremble in white hot fear except clint barton, the one who knows everything about her, the one she’d give her life for. and i don’t know if that’s powerfully remarkable or beautifully morbid.

But one step further: He is her responsibility. In the midst of everything happening, from the beginning of “Barton’s been compromised” to the moment she says “I copy,” Clint Barton is Natasha’s to come for. Coulson recognizes it enough to call her first and foremost, the moment it happens. He knows that Natasha will want to know, he knows that Natasha is probably the one person most qualified to know Clint, he knows that she will be all over this.

It isn’t just that he is her priority to find. It’s that he’s her priority to stop from doing things she KNOWS he would not do of his own free will and conscience. She knows what it is to be taken out of yourself and used in ways you will regret, and she is determined to spare Clint as much of that pain as possible. When he asks how many agents he’s killed, she stops him. She spares him that in what tiny way she can, because she knows that pain too, the number, the tally, and she will protect him from that even if she couldn’t protect him from his actions at the time.

And when she is shuddering and terrified and trying to regroup from the Hulk attack, that confrontation of the loss of control, what brings her back to herself hard and capable once more? Clint. Mention of Clint, who needs her, who needs her to STOP HIM.

And she pulls herself together, she conjures up ferocity and determination and knowledge of her partner, and she goes after him. She could have advised others in how to capture or disable him. She could have brought backup. She could have done any number of things differently.

But she chose to face him herself, fight him herself, without restraint and without fear of hurting him, because she owed him a debt. She owed him that loyalty, that devotion. To fight him and take him down, to stop him and bring him back to himself.

She did it herself, because it was Clint, and no one else was going to hurt him like she would, not when it mattered most.

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